Old times are gone
by SteeringWheel
Summary: Rukia finds herself in a tough position when she has to destroy Ichigos dreams and tell him she will leave forever.


I was staring into his eyes, wishing he could somehow read my thoughts, but hidden reasons suggested I was hopelessly lost in them.

"What?" he practically squawked at me. It was impossible to ignore it, the fact that I needed to pull away was evident. I looked away, but not entirely. Instead I focused my eye level view to his bare chest. It was an awkward thing, catching somebody walking out of the shower. But somehow neither of us minded. Suddenly while standing there I realized that he has thoughts as well, and decided to ponder what they could be. I dared to look up at his eyes only to see they were still focused on me. I looked back lovingly, completely immobilized. I figured his gaze must contain a reason, however it was soon obvious to me the reason was because I was in his way.

"Oi, Rukia!" He finally yelled, or perhaps had been yelling. I shook my head and he pushed me aside. Feeling completely rejected I gasped at him. As soon as my annoyed/depressed sigh left my mouth I covered the rebellious opening. He turned around at me while shaking a towel through his hair. What was I doing? I was just standing there with nothing to do or say. The awkwardness of the situation hit me and my thoughts focused on one thing. I had to tell him to stop living his dream and that he would never see me again. I had run over a test speech several times in my brain, it was killing me. Many of my imagined reactions involved him in hysterics where he would grab me close and tell me about how much he needed me. But then it dawned on me, that he could possibly only be mad about one thing, losing his powers. Who am I to be so arrogant as to think that Ichigo would need me so badly? I had to tell him soon, because the loss of power was hitting him fast but he showed no signs of letting up. As I had worked up to make my speech I realized yet again that I was just standing there. It seemed as if he had finish drying his hair because he looked back at me while grasping the top of his towel.

"Hey… Rukia. I need to get changed, do you need something?" He asked. He couldn't be rude, it wasn't possible. Even in a semi annoyed voice I could hear the humor coming through. He didn't care about much, and it wasn't in his nature to be annoyed at people. I panicked. This was one of the last nights I would have the opportunity to tell him about the predicament before things would get difficult.

"Ichigo" I muttered. I looked down at my feet, wishing they could move. I couldn't walk to him; I couldn't get closer to him to emphasize the intimacy of the issue. What if he would completely think of the issue in ways that didn't pertain to me at all, so perhaps this wasn't an _intimate_ issue. Perhaps this was one friend telling another friend that they would lose all their powers, causing them to never see the other again.

"I'm sure you have noticed this yourself, Ichigo". Is all I could spit out before the most pressure removing yet ice cold words came out of his mouth.

"I already know. Rukia"

What did he know? That I loved him? I love him. It echoed inside of me until it needed to be said. I turned my head from him feeling my mouth begin to form the words. My movements contained no force and the words were never uttered.

"I know I will lose my powers" He broke the tension.

* * *

She was beautiful. I had been knocked into my favorite girl right after a shower. I could feel her looking into my eyes and I didn't want to move. Why was she there? I discarded the thought and decided to continue to stare. Somewhere deep down I knew she would never be interested in me however I was aware I would always need her. My personality was not one of a gooey romantic, and I most certainly would not be caught in a slow motion embrace. I turned my head to the right and yelled,

"What?" I really didn't want her to move, but my character was yelling at me internally. Ichigo this isn't you. You don't fall in love, but somehow with less power you feel pathetically attached to her. As soon as I had said what I had focused my attention back on her. I was focusing more intensely this time because I figured she wouldn't look back for a while. Awhile… Why are we still standing here and why is there time for an awhile? How long are we going to be here? If my towel drops I am screwed, literally or just figuratively. Thinking about the literally version made me need to grip the towel and get away from the scene.

"Oi, Rukia!" I yelled as I pushed her aside. It felt rude, but the alternative was a scary thought. I grabbed a second towel to dry my hair because I did not want to have to shoo her away to change just yet.

* * *

He knows? For how long and why hasn't he had the courtesy to bring it up in front of me? His inner thoughts and his actions are generally consubstantial, so when he does things like this, keeping me in the dark, it makes me realize he probably does not care for me. Confused and digging philosophically, a revelation occurs. What if he knew that my mission was to tell him, than get the hell out of here? In this instance, he would have to pretend not to know in order to keep me around. It seemed like a stretch but as a desperate optimistic it makes sense. I Finally spoke, quietly but with urgency.

"you knew"

This wasn't a question, simply a statement. I had no courage for questions, no time really. As soon as the message was relayed to him I was to leave. Why anyways? Who comes up with this shit.

"I could feel it… slowly" he also spoke.

It was interesting, us speaking. After all this silence it was an alien action. I knew right then, I would have to tell him now. It had to come out. It had been two agonizing weeks. There had been several moments to tell this immaculate man that I loved him, and will always love him, but somehow, without fail I lose courage. As daunting the task, I needed the answer, the long sought out answer regarding his reciprocation of my love. I had to tell him. He needed to know I loved him. I love him. I love kurosaki Ichig-

My thoughts halted. He was staring at me, different than before. Had he said something?

"Rukia"

He had in fact. It was my name, another alien subject besides him, and him alone.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. Something was off, it didn't seem sincere. It seemed dazed yet alert. He was playing something off, as if fishing for a desirable response from me. Does he want me to profess love? Or just get himself and his obviously tightening towel away from me.

* * *

"you knew" She said. Her haunting voice made the words themselves tremble. Was she disappointed? Asking for confirmation that I did in fact know? Things were weird.

"Rukia" I mustered up.

Are we having a moment? Are her feelings the same for me as I for her? Is she attempting to say something more, will I hear an I love you leave her lips? Probably not, but it was worth fishing out.

"Is something wrong?" Of course there was, we both loved each other.

* * *

Of course there was something wrong! He's fishing, I know it. He wants me to say what has been inevitably destined to be said from day one. I love you.

"When you saved me, Ichigo" I felt as if I was starting a speech.

"You exhibited a passion, that…" I was trailing off.

He was still basically naked, I recalled. I sighed deeply, frustrated with myself and this love. But then, suddenly, he was approaching.

* * *

I could tell she was starting a speech. This is how she is, dramatic and passionate about everything. Though I wasn't sure if the rest of her words consisted of us being together, I felt myself gravitating closer to her. What was I doing? Words can't explain my internal panic attack. I was approaching her, for what reason? I knew I was going to try something. Something risky, dangerous, daring but maybe romantic? We were close now, so close, so very close. With my free hand I grabbed her back as if to kiss her or just embrace. Suddenly I realized, my _free_ hand… One hand was holding a towel covering my naked body. My _naked_ body. I was naked. Feeling awkward I patted her on the back and said

"There's no need to thank me again for saving you, we will have plenty of time later to reminisce, I will see you in the morning!"

Idiot. I gave her a big smile, she left and I changed.

* * *

See you in the morning? Clearly that was a moment! Something was happening! Maybe I am not crazy, I love him, and he loves me! But why, why when things were so close did he close it off. He has always been shy about these sorts of things but walking away? There was a clear opportunity for something to go down. This wasn't the end of the night, no not close.

* * *

A quiet rustle kept me awake. What in the hell was that noise? I lay awake, and all I can hear is subtle movement. What is that? I remember I used to hear this all the time when Rukia slept in my-

Closet. She was in the closet? Why? Does she want me? Now?

Stop. Stop getting carried away it's probably not that think of other reasons for the noise. Nope there were none. None to make that distinctive noise. It was so familiar, so recognizable. It was Rukia.

I sat up. The rustling stopped. I turned my head to the left, glancing at the closet.

No, there was no way. We are practically adults why would she be in there. In a way, it was my biggest desire that she was in there, pining over me. I couldn't see in to tell, it was impossible. I had to go in.

* * *

Well shit.

This was a mistake. He knows! He totally knows! Oh god, he hears me in here. Damnit these sheets were always so noisy. Oh god he's approaching.

* * *

Ichigo approached the closet. His heart was beating, as was Rukias. It was evident to both of them now there were two hearts in the room in the know. Rukia was in the closet, the ruse was up. It wasn't like old times, things were different. There was tension.

Ichigo was getting closer now, Rukia knew, Ichigo knew but neither had the slightest clue what would happen once they saw each other.


End file.
